This past winter I was in the middle of another health low on what’s been a couple years of a roller-coaster ride. I feel well for a while and then I crash. Sometimes those crashes are small and last a few hours, others last days or weeks.
On this particular evening, I was journaling and crying out to God. I was sick, my kid had yet another cough and we were all sleep deprived.
In my desperation and begging for God to heal us, I felt like He was asking me if I was willing to do whatever it took to get well.
Have you ever had a moment where you felt like God, or another person, asked you to do something and you just felt dumbstruck they’d even have the audacity to ask you? That’s how I felt in that moment…
I had been on AIP for almost 2 years and following dietary recommendations for thyroid and autoimmune health for 5. I went to a chiropractor weekly, my homeopath every 6 weeks, a nutritional therapy practitioner every 3 weeks, a functional medicine doctor every 12 weeks and my MD every quarter. I had put my family into significant debt trying to heal and be well. I did gobs of yoga,& breathing exercises that were supposed to help me heal. I spent thousands of dollars on supplements, herbs, practitioners, etc. I felt like I was constantly taking something, using a special essential oil or working on healing. I spent hours researching every day to stay on top of the latest autoimmune research, connected with the autoimmune community and was diligently restoring our Airstream to be the safest possible space for my health & my family’s health.
I pretty much laughed and said, “um… yeah I’ll do what it takes for my family to be well.”
What else could there possibly be for me to do??
Over the course of the next few weeks I kept having the feeling that God was asking me that same question “will you do what it takes for you to be well?”
I kept feeling like it was a conviction that I wasn’t doing “x” (enough yoga, enough grounding, enough detox, etc. etc. etc.) but nothing seemed “right” to satisfy that answer.
I hit more high points of feeling amazing and more low points of feeling awful. In early May, I hit one of the lowest points I’ve ever hit and worried I would end up back in the ER. Thankfully I made it through and started looking into other causes for my health concerns.
I’d gone down every possible “root cause” I could think of and still felt like there was a missing link.
In early June we figured it out…
After trial & error, we figured out that my crashes were being triggered by mold exposure. (… again, we moved in 20123because of significant mold in our ceiling at an apartment) The last month has been a blur of research, doctors visits, moving and purging….
What God was asking me was if I would be willing to get rid of nearly all my belongings to get well. All we will be able to keep when we move in to the Airstream are metal & glass items. We’re literally sacrificing almost everything for my family to be well.
Sure didn’t see that coming this past winter…
I’m still processing. There’s a lot to be done in the coming months. It’s scary & overwhelming. I’m reacting to nearly every building I go in to in town. (there was a major flood here the year before we moved in to town and apparently, it’s a very moldy town).
I’m sure the coming weeks and months this blog will be full of information on mold, our experience and processing everything that’s been going on.
I process through writing and I haven’t been writing nearly enough lately.
If you’d have told me this past winter that mold could have such profound impacts on health, I never would have believed you. In spite of dealing with it before, I had not done nearly as much research or had as good of resources as I have now. It’s mind-blowing really… If you’d have told me I would be getting rid of all my child’s toys, our clothing, nearly all our belongings… I would have said that sounded like an awfully drastic measure.
Yes, I will do whatever it takes to get myself and my family well. I would go to the ends of the Earth and start completely over from scratch. I’m never going to stop doing whatever it takes. This just adds a whole new layer.
The coming weeks and months feel like an uphill battle. We don’t have the money we need to replace things so we’re applying for grants, searching for second jobs and asking for help from loved ones. It was one year ago tomorrow that my hubby was laid off and we’ve spent the last year with virtually no extra income.
However, God is providing in truly miraculous ways and we know that somehow it’s all going to work out in the end. We would covet your prayers and any resources you might have. We’ll be trying to transfer as soon as the Airstream is done to a less-moldy climate and will be taking it one day at a time as we move forward to heal and be well.
Thank you for your prayers and your love!