Health, Humanity

Needing “My People”

Human nature is a funny thing.  No matter how many times we see the hard stuff of life happen to others,  somewhere in us thinks “those things don’t happen to my people.”  We all have *our* people. Those who we have done life with. As Mamas, these people are especially important. We share our children’s firsts together, ask questions to make sure the quirky behavior is “normal,” vent about how difficult motherhood can be sometimes.  We raise our babies together, marvel at how quickly they grow, while not realizing how much we are growing too. Yet all the while we see others going through the “bad” stuff and think “thank God THOSE kinds of things don’t happen to US.” Like there’s some sort of magic bubble around your people.  

And then…

“There was no heartbeat”

“We lost the job”

“I don’t know how long we’ll be in the NICU”

“The ambulance came”

“We’re homeless”

“I’m getting a divorce”

“It’s cancer”  

“At the ER”

These words come across our screens, and into our ears like a dagger. Suddenly you realize your bubble is penetrable and it’s so incredibly painful, scary, awful and sad to realize these things CAN happen to you.  When we’re part of these “tribes,” you start to function as a whole, instead of all these little parts you each were before. Even when you find yourself suddenly spread across the country.

It’s in these horrible, unimaginable moments that you discover just how beautiful “your people” are and how much you truly need one another.  

Because right back across those screens, and into our ears come-

“What do you want for dinner tonight?”

“I’m coming over to take the dog.”

“We’ll be right there.”

“We’re sending you a PayPal gift.”

“Don’t worry about the other kids, we’ve got them.”

“I’m bringing you groceries.”

“Here’s a list of jobs to apply for & money to help you get by.”

“We booked you a motel so you don’t have to live in a tent.”

“Tell us about what your baby girl looked like.”

“I love you.” “I’m here.” “I’m not going anywhere.”

We don’t even ask- we jump into action.  When one of us hurts, all of us hurts. When one of our babies is sick, bullied, hurt, we all weep.  

Our people all look a little different.  Some are a couple people, some are big.  Some of us find community in our families, our churches, mom’s groups.  

Or like mine, so unexpectedly from “just a job” and from college.  

Find yours… when the shit hits the fan, you’re going to need them to jump into action and be in your court.  You may not get to see each other as often as you’d like, you may find yourselves mostly communicating via mass text or Facebook, but when you fall,- your people will pick you up.  

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