Our little boy, J, arrived on October 19th. It’s been quite the journey the last month, I realized I better get to it and write down details before I forget them.
Sunday, October 17- Hubby and I decided we were going to go walk the baby out! After church we went and had a fantastic lunch at Mad Greens downtown and then went to Pink Berry for dessert. We then spent a couple hours walking around the zoo until we got tired and came home and took naps.
Monday October 18- 12:30am- Contractions started and we were up the entire day with them. I was having back labor and we knew we were going to be in for a wild ride. Nothing was comfortable but we stuck through it together. I had my regular 41 week appointment at the birthing center and met with Leigh, one of the midwives, who checked me and tried a few natural things to get labor going.
Tuesday October 19- 12:30am- 24 hours after contractions started I was feeling strange. They were only 5 minutes apart and we were not “supposed” to go to the birthing center until they got to 3 minutes apart but I wanted to go get checked out so we headed over in the middle of the night. Leigh was the midwife there at the time, another family was having a baby. I got checked in, we met up with our Doula and got settled in to the room. I was in a lot of pain as my contractions became more intense, and I knew baby was turned wrong because of where my contractions were. I tried many different positions and just couldn’t get comfortable. After several hours I began feeling a lot of spiritual oppression, anxiety and complete exhaustion. Hubby and I rested and prayed for a couple hours in bed as my contractions slowed. At 6am the “changing of the guard” happened, Leigh and Catlin left and Aubrey and Shaunti came. My anxiety and spiritual oppression increased and I was given some homeopathic anxiety medications. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t going to be delivering at the birthing center, I knew something was wrong. Around noon we went outside and tried to take in some sunshine while the staff discussed what to do with us. Since I wasn’t progressing, was so uncomfortable and anxious and totally exhausted we made the choice to transfer to the hospital. This was an incredibly difficult decision for me. I knew my dreams of a nice, natural childbirth were gone and that medical intervention would be necessary. I also knew that with back labor and such long labor, csection might be an option. Thankfully, the midwives at the birthing center have hospital privileges so Aubrey came over with us. She checked us in and got me all plugged in to all the icky hospital stuff. We were able to get in with one of the best midwives at the hospital and Aubrey stayed with us until I was comfortable and in the care of Mary at the hospital. After getting an epidural and pitocin around 2pm I was able to sleep for a few hours, the first sleep I’d had in almost 2 days. My contractions started back up again full strength but I couldn’t feel anything. I was connected to a monitor that showed them but I wasn’t feeling pain… just back labor pressure. We tried various more things to alleviate the pressure. I was frustrated because I couldn’t get out of bed with everything I was connected to. J’s Godparents came to visit me and so did my in-laws. It was really nice to have some company and love there. We were feeling sad and alone and scared. Finally at around 6pm my epidural was lightened enough so I could start trying to push. I pushed for almost 3 hours and he came within a centimeter of coming out. However, he just wouldn’t turn quite right to come out. Midwife Mary called in a doctor and he said my options were the vacuum or a csection. We tried the vacuum and there was still no progress. Before I knew it I was being prepped for an operation and wheeled into a room. It wasn’t even an hour from when he said it needed to happen until I was on the table being cut open. Our Doula, Manige, was such a blessing to us during this time. Hubby was able to stay with me while she told our family and friends we were having the csection. She had one with her own daughter’s birth and stayed right by our side during the operation and explained what was happening to me. I was really scared so I put on my ipod and listened to music and the gentle voices of Hubby and Manige whispering in my ear while the surgery took place. I hardly remember anything about it, I didn’t really look around at all. I didn’t want to know. I just closed my eyes while I was wheeled in to the room and set up. I found my happy place with The Fray and some worship music on my ipod. Before I knew it I heard him cry!!!! After that I don’t remember much, I got to kiss him quickly before I was wheeled into another room after the surgery was over. He was born at 9:45pm. I don’t remember being brought into our hospital room, I don’t remember being reunited with J and Hubby, I don’t remember his first feeding or much about his first day. I do remember a nurse bringing him to me in the middle of the night to cuddle and feed him…. I am sad that I missed out on his first moments, sad to have not had my natural birth experience, sad to have a scar and surgery recover. But so very thankful and blessed to have a beautiful little baby boy. We were surrounded by incredible people who helped us through and angels who protected us. God has richly blessed us with our son and we love him so much. I will share more about his first month later.